in randomness i trust ~~

defining the core of fulfillment, and further dreams of life. i was never obviously signing my dream job in journal, my own blog and others. all i could do is just sitting intensely at my dad's internet cafe, from dawn to evening till my eyes was slightly murked and red because of unstoppable expose of pc screen^^

perhaps back then, there was a time that i engulfed with stupidity to just felling in love with my friend (if it not could be said as obsessed). i worked with almost no boundaries, and that person told me that ourwork relation is stamped by pure trustness between friend oh godddd THAT BEAUTIFUL MANIPULATION ALWAYS HAUNTS ME and since then, i never trust work relation that based on loyaltiness, friendship, or family ^^ it's all bullshied^^ but im not gonna lie, living pursue my work while i'm stressed out by chem and maths, are a tremendous big deal to me, such a HARDCORE experience, terryifyng story that i will tell my daughter and son soon. work in fast pace and no boundaries give me maximum amount of endurance, of not easy to giving up, to nurture my capability and skills to maximum limit that i've never thought that was existed before.

but it also a goddam blessing too, of course. universe given me chance to taking a lot of deep talk with my criteria manga, he had nabbing almost sll of my biggest misconcrption about human understanding, he brought me to stimulize any hazardous potential situation that i've never imagine, he drill my blobfish-liked brain to it's stress point, concocting all of possibilities to push me even more. so if i could say, i'm definitely had love-hate relationship with this person at highest sureness.

lanjut nnti otak w pegel