si paling inggresss (562/500)

im 18 and nearly stepping out to my 19, the feel is undescribly loud, but silence at the exact same time. friends going to collgege, one sided love, dependent parents, and my own devastated neat plan about my too utopist dream and future. i once heard nadin amizah solidly tell anyone who had the same "so what?" shouts in their head. and now i'm intrigued into that feeling, into that bleared vision about what i wanna to be like. there's no guidance for any walkthrough or hints, we just needed to be walk presicely in types of roads that we never knew before. exciting yet scary too. an acclaimed quote that massively surfing in my instagram's algorithm is "people come and go", and i'm sure you were familiarized, too. i've readed that in thousand times as that quote swirling my head and my brain as dropped hat, bruh. having deep absorption to any situation, person, experience, and anything that i've attached it in my head, is pretty cursed and blessed either. people say we could just miss someone or some event if we weren't busy, and here, it's me laying down in grave of nostalgic and simultaneously remembering and memorize any moments in my life.

no, im not gonna say my life is terrible. contraly, i'm living my best live now, as happy as milions people out there, in this magnificient mother earth. im just feel empty and have no people to talk to, and you know? i scrabbling and then built my brain's garbages in my own blog, font care weather it could be confusing, hurting someone's core value, or maybe people just lost his eyes due to serious infection because reading my zombie-like essays, journals and articles. i just going to work, scrolling out bbc or cnn to read any actual news that happened, making my own summary about news that i readed, and then publish it into my blog. i doing it repeatly to local news, or any article that i found interesting.

as same as a tantrum toddler, love is always being an entitiy that extremely hard to understood. it's like weirdo creature that universe made for engulfed human with solid confuse, shadowy happiness, and bitter infinite sadness. its hurting, yet could making someone's day was the best ever day in their life. so simply, i just produce a little bit amount of dopamine and oxytocin boost, a clingy crush on my childhood friend and i have no clue about his feeling (yep thinking all teenagers are doing the same ^^) and we have talking aaa lot about bunches topic, i immensely curious about how he feels about me, but ya, apriodita aulia has zero brave to bring towards her expression. but im pretty sure he's a nice guy. WKWKWK.

btw guys, i write this poor journal to filled up my to do list, i targetted to write 500 words in english to improve my capability to comprehend any ideas in my head into real essays, letter, or anything that has real existencies in pysical. anyway, this currently days, i've been missed my buddies in CIMB Niaga soo bad. they are my first co-worker in my career journey. ka nisa, ka jijah, agung, aji and ka tika were the kindest person that i (gracefully) met in cimb niaga, we simultaneously chat to planning our "kopdar" but it never happen:))))))

I'm 18 and about to walk out the door to meet my 19, and the feeling is indescribably loud but also silent.Friends going to college; one sided love, dependent parents, and my own devastated neat plan about my too utopian dream and future. i once heard nadin amizah solidly tell anyone who had the same "so what?" shouts in their head. and now i'm intrigued by that feeling, by that bleared vision of what i want to be like. there's no guidance for any walkthrough or hints, we just needed to walk presicely on types of roads that we never knew before. exciting, yet scary too. an acclaimed quote that is massively surfing in my Instagram's algorithm is "people come and go", and i'm sure you were familiarized, too. I've read that quote a thousand times as it swirls around in my head and brain like a dropped hat, bruh.Having a deep absorption for any situation, person, or experience, and anything that i've attached it in my head, is pretty cursed and blessed either way. people say we could just miss someone or some events if we weren't busy, and here, it's me laying down in grave of nostalgia and simultaneously remembering and memorizing any moments in my life.

 

no, im not gonna say my life is terrible. contraly, i'm living my best live now, as happy as milions people out there, in this magnificient mother earth. im just feel empty and have no one to talk to, you know? i scrabbled and then built my brain's garbages in my own blog, whether it was confusing, hurting someone's core values, or maybe people just lost their eyesight due to serious infection from reading my zombie-like essays, journals, and articles. i just going to work, scrolling out bbc or cnn to read any actual news that happened, making my own summary of the news that i read, and then publishing it into my blog. i do it repeatedly to local news, or any article that i find interesting.

Love, like a tantrum-throwing toddler, is an entitiy that is extremely difficult to comprehend. it's like a weirdo creature that the universe made for engulfing humans in solid confusion, shadowy happiness, and bitter infinite sadness. its hurts, but it could making someone's day the best day of their life. so simply, i just produce a little bit of dopamine and oxytocin and have a clingy crush on my childhood friend, and i have no clue about his feelings (yep thinking all teenagers are doing the same ^^) and we have talked aaa lot about bunches topic, i immensely curious about how he feels about me, but ya, apriodita aulia has zero bravery to bring towards her expression. but I'm pretty sure he's a nice guy. WKWKWK.

btw guys, i write this poor journal to fill up my to do list, i targeted to write 500 words in english to improve my capability to comprehend any ideas in my head into real essays, letter, or anything that has real existence in physical reality. Anyway, these days, i've been missing my buddies in CIMB Niaga soo bad. they are my first co-workers in my career journey. ka nisa, ka jijah, agung, aji and ka tika were the kindest people that i (gracefully) met in cimb niaga, we simultaneously chatted about planning our "kopdar" but it never happened:))))))